THIS IS MY BLACK FRIDAY

The Friday after Thanksgiving is known as Black Friday. This used to be unofficially or officially the start of holiday shopping season. Today, for me is has a different meaning, here is why…

*** Finally, after 9 months and a lot of anticipation and excitement; my baby’s due date is is next week Friday and I’m counting down the days. His room is ready, the clothes are washed, and our hospital bag is packed….my last paediatrician appointment is tomorrow morning.

All seemed perfect the next day until the doctor said: “Something is not right. I can’t hear a heartbeat.” 

And then – your whole world stops. ***

Today, 20 years ago, this story was my reality and it still seems surreal.

I am sharing this with you to say that there is hope, but also, that it is important for us to speak about loss. To say goodbye to my stillborn son was one of the “toughest things” in my life. For me it was to understand that it is “OK not be OK” and to voice it. It was also about choosing to silence my inner critic, to stop blaming myself for what happened and to practice self-care.

So, this is a shout-out to all the parents going through a similar reality or another challenging time in their lives.

Life has its ups and downs, just like the graph of a heartbeat, but just know: tough times don’t last. During this time of my life, I realised that we are stronger than what we think… whilst I focused on surviving one hour at a time back then and “deal” with this heart wrenching pain, I (eventually) did learn to live with my “new normal”.

Even though I talk about this often, I am celebrating him in all of me, every day. He is part of who I am today.

#Selfcare #ItsOKtobenotOK #CelebrateLife #MyBlackFriday #Whatsyourstory

 

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