Mentors, do you prefer a structured approach or do you “just wing it”?

Many leaders value their contribution to a mentorship journey. Through this, they feel they are “paying it forward” by sharing their wisdom and insights with younger, emerging leaders.

But a few questions need to be asked to ensure the mentor-mentee-relationship is fruitful:

• How do you, as a mentor, ensure that you make a significant impact?
• Is there a specific format prescribed by your company?
• Do you receive any feedback on the quality of your discussions with your mentee?
• Do you have a ‘formal’ programme or structure that you follow or do you just ‘go with the flow’?

In my recent article “Mentoring – more than a tick box exercise”, I looked at considerations for mentors and mentees before entering in a mentorship relationship. But, once you have your mentee how do you decide what to cover (and where to start) in your ongoing discussions?

When it comes to mentorship, there are a variety of approaches that can be considered. I have briefly unpacked these for you below:

1. According to Management Mentor:one of the first discussions a mentor and mentee should have, is to clarify boundaries: “Is everything open for discussion or are there certain limits? For example, can I discuss my personal life and how it impacts my professional life, or do we keep these two areas separate? As well as what is, or is not, confidential in our relationship?
2. A solid concept recommended by BeLeaderly’s Jo Miller is to have discussions based on the below categories:
   1. Stories:Ask your mentor to tell a story from his or her career
   2. Situations:Identify a challenging situation and share it with the mentor. Ask your mentor to act as a sounding board.
   3. Self-awareness:Ask a question that invites your mentor to contribute to your self-awareness.
   4. and skill building:Identify a skill you currently want to develop and ask your mentor for advice or resources.

For those of you that need the guidance of how to tell an impactful story might find this article by Carolyn O’Hare helpful: How to tell a great story

3. The Utah Valley Universityprovides a structured approach suggesting 17 topics and related exploration questions for their mentors. The two that stood out for me was the discussion around “Staying Ahead of the Bell Curve”. They recommend: “Leaders are always advancing themselves. They are dedicated to self-development, excellence, and personal growth. During this session, find out what your mentor does to stay ahead of the curve. How do they go about staying competitive and what do they suggest for you to become a successful leader?”.

Also, another one to consider is: “The Power of Attitude”. It is where the mentor can remind the mentee that people respond to you “based on your personality, energy, and by your attitude or emotional climate.” Over and above the formal discussions they also recommend various activities to assist the mentee’s development, for example, mock interviews, resume review, a shadowing day, attending one of the mentor’s professional organisations activities or consider doing a leisure activity together.

Through this exploration process, the format and structure that I have selected to follow for my mentor-mentee journey is: Crucial Mentoring Conversations by Neil Steinmann. I found Neil’s book fascinating and recommend it as a must-read for any leader that wants to increase their impact and influence.

Neil recommends and elaborates on 8 Crucial Mentoring Conversations:

1. Conversation on Purpose
2. Conversation on Career momentum
3. Conversation on Performance
4. Conversation on Fitness
5. Conversation on Strengths
6. Conversation on Relationships
7. Conversation on Networks
8. Conversation on Classified matters

What convinced me that this is the approach I want to follow is the fact that Crucial Mentoring Conversations (CMC) is giving me, the mentor, a book (manual) with guidance, questions and exercises to follow as well as a journal for my mentee. The cherry on top is the CMC mobile application linked to the eight conversations.

I’m interested to hear what is working for you? Do you follow a structured approach, or do you prefer a less formal agenda during your mentoring conversations?

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On a personal note, I recently had the privilege to be a mentor at the Global Mentoring walk in Pretoria, South Africa. What an impactful morning; thank you for WomHub, Vital Voices and the US Embassy for organising and sponsoring the event.

#CrucialMentoringConversations #Mentoring #HaveAVoice